Me: Where are the owls? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?
Hooters Waitress: Please sir, you're causing a fuss and disturbing the other customers-
Me: *banging my hands rhythmically on the table* WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?

nabulos:

talkacanthi:

nabulos:

talkacanthi:

I need to stop doing the thing where I fall asleep at 3 PM and wake up at 11:30

try not sleeping?

but life is hard and sleep is good

sleep is a disgusting waste of time
become robot
????
profit

being a robot would make my job 1000% easier.

Time to become augmented

oooohhhhhh my god Game Grumps are playing Trauma Center and its everything I could ever ask for.

nabulos:

talkacanthi:

I need to stop doing the thing where I fall asleep at 3 PM and wake up at 11:30

try not sleeping?

but life is hard and sleep is good

I need to stop doing the thing where I fall asleep at 3 PM and wake up at 11:30

rocketshipresort started following you

Swoon indeed.

mugglebornheadcanon:

545. Muggleborns thinking it’s the coolest that mermaids actually exist, but then screaming when they see what they look like.

thatssocrates:

the thing that really worked about harry, hermione, and ron was that they were all the uncomfortable third friend

animeliberationfront:

I literally overcame self esteem issues by making ironically over-arrogant claims because even if you’re joking about something a lot you start to believe it and that can totally work in a good way if you let it

Thursdays are way lame. #blurryselfie

Thursdays are way lame. #blurryselfie

Somehow Thursdays are my busiest day out of the whole week.

This needs to stop

supercargautier:

kaiju3:

The American Hogwarts Houses

protip: these are all basically candy scents. the bear one “for the commanding man” is kiwi bubblegum

supercargautier:

kaiju3:

The American Hogwarts Houses

protip: these are all basically candy scents. the bear one “for the commanding man” is kiwi bubblegum

Disregard haters. Drink real coke.

Disregard haters. Drink real coke.